It’s been over a year since I last wrote on here. There was a time most of my internet activity was writing a blog or reading & commenting on them. Anyways, I find myself once again…

One of the most frustrating thing about having a mental illness is meshing my brain which is normal & sometimes above normal with my inability to get anything accomplished. I may think of remarkable ideas, but they are born and die in my brain. Even if I were to scrawl the most basic premise of them, I can’t explain it well in written or verbal form.

Tonight I really lost my temper with Jim & yelled so awfully. I’m so ashamed of myself for multiple reasons. My anger went from 0 to 100 in a flash, and then after, everything just sinks. Here I am this almost 60 year old woman that still cannot control herself; it’s humiliating.

I 100% believe Jim should be with someone else. He deserves someone “normal”, someone that isn’t me. Poor Chip, he gets scared when I yell. Fortunately, things are okay with me & Jim now, and Chip – he has forgiven me, I’m still working on forgiving myself.