What life throws at us

Sometimes life seems too boring and at other times it’s overwhelming. Right now, it’s the latter. Figuratively speaking, I feel like I’m in a war zone emotionally. On Aug. 22 we had to put Trixi to sleep, while I know it was the humane thing to do, the past few days I’ve been missing her tremendously. She was my buddy, my sidekick, always present. No matter what happened, Trixi was always here, literally. Even though she was usually sleeping, there was comfort in knowing when I got home, or woke up, went to bed, anything… she was here. All I had to do was rub her belly & she’d listen to me all day long. Now, she’s gone & her absence is felt, painfully so; inside I ache. When we lose someone we love, whether it be human or animal, the initial loss isn’t the difficult part. It’s living every day without them. There is an emptiness where that loving soul once was, now they’ve gone on in their journey and we’re here realizing how great their presence really was. That isn’t to say they weren’t appreciated when they were alive, but there is no way to realize how MUCH they were in our life until they’re gone. Add to this, Nicole moving out of state with her husband, and Jim having surgery in October ~ I feel as though if I could fast forward to November and look back, what I see today and what I will see then could not even resemble one another. I’m worried about a lot of things. Usually I’m able to practice mindfulness and stay in the moment, actually I do that very well. Right now though, it feels like I’ve been punched in the gut & am gasping for air, and I may be punched a few more times before this round is over.