Disbelief

I feel a sense of sadness when I thought about Trixi. I also feel like I’m going to throw up. She still seems okay, so the idea of her having a cancerous tumor just doesn’t seem right.

Powerless, we’re supposed to protect & take care of her and we can to a point, but then? We’ll have to let her go & there will be such a void in our home. I’ve been able to stay in the moment except for late at night when my thoughts creep in. I know she’s had a good life & 12 years is average for a pbp- I don’t know the right words to describe how I’m feeling. Down, I guess.